Transformers: Age of Meh-xtinction (O.K. that's doesn't work, but it's staying)

The Transformers movies are a blessing in disguise. On one hand, you have these loud, obnoxious, brainless, yet none-the-less, loved action movies from Michael Bay. They just rake in countless amounts of cash every time they come out for seemingly no good reason. On the other hand, every Transformers movie that comes out keeps Michael Bay away from a potentially good script. Honestly, I think this works out for everyone. The teenage boys and frat guys get the kind of movie they love, while everyone else gets to see a different director's name attached to another film that Bay may have gotten otherwise.

That being said, I do like the first Transformers movie. It was simple, silly, over-the-top, but it had heart and was a lot of fun. The second movie is one of the few movies that kind of made me angry while watching it. The frat boy in Bay completely took over -- along with a writer's strike leaving Bay with a partial script going into and throughout shooting. I can't completely blame Bay for it's faults. From what I read, they did a lot of improving on set and didn't really know what they were doing. The third movie had a boring first half, but the climax was worth waiting for.

Transformers: Age of Extinction isn't the worst one of the series (Revenge of the Fallen is) but it's the most boring. Yes, T:AoE is just incredibly boring. For being around 2 hours and 45 minutes, there's almost nothing going on.

It's kind of funny that T:AoE is almost trying to make a political statement. The plot is trying to have something to do with crony capitalism and government military contracts. But it's ineptly handles and becomes buried by even worse father/daughter road trip aspect of the film. But basically a government worker is trying to kill transformers so he can allow a major corporation to farm the transformers' bodies to harvest the metal they're made out of the make a profit. It sounds good on paper. It's an idea that I think is damn good. But instead we have to focus on Mark Wahlberg being a shitty dad.

Damn it, Marky Mark, learn how to change your accent. You played a New Orleans native and you still have your Boston accent. Here you play a Texas native, and you still sound like you're from Boston. You even make fun of another character for because he "sounds like a leprechaun" and lives in Texas. You have no right... I'm sorry Marky Mark. I still like you as an actor. But just not here. And it's not just your accent. We're supposed to be rooting for Mark's character, who's named Yaeger -- Honestly, I'm not sure if this isn't trying to take from Pacific Rim or not -- who's a failed inventor/man-child. Insert typical lowest-point-in-life clichés, and boom, you got Yaeger.

His daughter, played by... honestly, I don't even care... made me miss Megan Fox. She's supposed to be the rebellious teenager who also takes care of her father. But she is just so annoying. There are times where it's just stupid. Example, the human characters have to walk what is basically a tight rope hundreds of feet in the air. They have to go from one side to the other to get to safety. It's also going from the high point to the low point. She gets more than half way, but because she's scared, is yelling, "I'm going to go back." Why? Because we need to add tension to this scene. She's becomes a plot device. Oh, she's captured, now we have to go to this set piece to save her. Let's put a gun to her head to make the main character talk, let's have robots fight near her so we have to run and go get her. And the whole time we're dealing with this, we're also dealing with the "oh yeah, he's my boyfriend I never told you about because you don't want me dating anyone" cliché as well. No, the boyfriend isn't worth talking about. He's just there because occasionally they need a good driver and he drives cars. And some awkward "stay away from my daughter" bits. That's about it.

All of this made it incredibly hard to enjoy the action sequences. Sadly, there are a few sequences of action that look like they were well put together. However it feels there's nothing at stake. Very quickly even the death of the human characters becomes a non-factor. Scratch that, one character does die early on. But after that, it becomes comical how much punishment the humans take. One that sticks out the most was when Optimus Prime was driving probably around 45-55 mph, the two guys jump out onto the grass, they're ok. But the daughter gets launched out and tumbles along side Prime for a good hundred or two hundred feet. When she stops, she gets up, not even winded, no scratches, nothing, and runs for cover. And this happens so often I couldn't help but laugh at it.

There is no urgency when your characters can't be hurt. There's not drama in the action if you know the characters are going to be OK. This, along with simply not caring whether or not the characters make it, turn all the action sequences into light shows. Then the whole movie becomes that. To make matters worse is the action is few and far between. I think the first major set piece is an hour into the movie. T:AoE has less action of the 4 movies. It's also the longest of the 4 movies. And it had the biggest budget of the 4 movies. While it's not the worst, it's the most boring of the 4 movies.

One thing I want to add is Bay was bragging about this movie being 60% filmed in the IMAX format. Typically movies are either filmed in "Flat" format (1.85:1 aspect ratio), or "Scope" (2.39:1 aspect ratio). IMAX is 1.43:1. However, when you aren't watching the movie in IMAX, theatres are playing it in the Scope format. This becomes problematic because a lot of the action sequences are shot and designed for the taller aspect ratio, so a lot of what's supposed to be in frame gets cut out. Then you have to use extra digital panning which causes more motion on screen. That makes things messy. And I didn't feel like spending the extra money on IMAX or 3D. I don't think it needs me to, it made $100,000,000 in America alone this weekend...

NOT RECOMMENDED AT ALL.

How To Train Your Dragon 2

I was a fan of the first How To Train Your Dragon. It's one of the few animated movies I own on Blu-ray. It was a fantastic "A boy and his dog" stories with a dragon substituting for the dog. Without getting too into it, the only real problem I had with HTTYD was the last 15-20 minutes of it. The reason being was it didn't really have that heart-breaking moment most "A boy and his dog" movies have, and the ending came too easily. What took Hiccup several days, or even weeks, to do the first time, he's able to not only do a second time in just minutes, but teach 5 other kids how to do it as well in that same amount of time. Then the ending with all the dragons felt a tad too easy. These weren't enough for me to knock the film too much. The rest of the movie was just far too strong for this to be a deal breaker. But I'm just not a fan of having things come together instantaneously like that. 

Anyway, I've wasted too much time on the first movie as it is. For How To Train Your Dragon 2, it's clearly obvious the movie is aimed at a more mature audience. Taking place 5 years after the original, Hiccup and the others have visually matured. They've even grown some facial stubble to go along.


Much like the first movie, the animation is stunning. Some of the movie's most beautiful moments are the flying sequences, which I kind of wish I saw in 3D. The world building in this movie takes things a step further than the last. Hiccup is exploring much farther than he did in the first movie and it leads to some amazing landscapes. The color palette is vibrant and the new dragon designs are really creative. While it's not really a big complaint, the first movie didn't have a ton of variety on the dragons that were actually seen on screen. HTTYD2 doesn't go into detail about all the different dragons that are flying around as the first one did, but it really doesn't need to.


The love interest subplot could hardly be called one. Yes, Hiccup is still with the love interest in the first movie. Luckily, there's no conflict or drama between the two of them. There's no need to retread that. Also, the simple fact that they've been together for five years would be enough reason to accept that they have worked out a lot of their differences. Instead, we're treated to a little bit of them acting like a couple who loves each other for a couple scenes. Instead of the love interested angle, we're treated to a much more powerful bond: mother and son. Some aspects do seem a little too easy and convenient. Luckily it's emotionally poignant enough to overcome that.


Hiccup is still the main focus of the story, but it's not just about him and Toothless. It is a coming-of-age time for Hiccup. But one thing that comes along with finding who you are is knowing where you come from. Before now, he's only had one side of his history. Some of the best scenes are when Hiccup takes a backseat to his parents, Stoik and Valda (voiced by Gerard Butler and Cate Blanchet), reuniting. Even when all Hiccup is doing is watching and reacting, we're seeing him grow.


Unlike the first movie, HTTYD2 has a villain. The first movie had a final boss. While that's all fun and cool, having a villain creates urgency. Drago (voiced by Djimon Hounsou) is intimidating. From the rough voice that rivals Stoik in amount of razor blades swallowed, to the ruthless nature and lack of empathy. He makes it clear that he is not to be messed with. Unfortunately, that's as deep as he gets. While Drago is intimidating, he's not compelling. Please, you can't just say that a crazy person can't be reasoned with when you can't give a proper reason on why that character does what he/she does. They do explain, but with everything shown throughout both movies, it's just so flimsy that I can't really buy it. It weakens the villain's character.


One thing I am thankful for with this villain is what he does at the end of the second act. While the first movie's idea of heart-breaking was losing a limb, HTTYD2 doesn't hold back. It makes the "tragedy" of the first film pale in comparison. And most importantly, it serves to move the plot forward and develop several characters. It's not just doing it for the sake of yanking tears.


Without question, the ending to HTTYD2 feels more organic than the first. It's still pushing the convenience factor a tad, but it's not anywhere near cheap. What I liked was it's not the typical "climatic boss fight" at the end of a lot of movies now. The climax is a character moment, and it works. It's a nice cap on a very pleasing movie.


Despite its shortcomings, HTTYD2 has matured quite a bit from the first film. I love it when films that start out for kids have sequels that allow the audience to grow with the movie. If the first film is the Sorcerer's Stone, then this is Prisoner of Azkaban. I just hope the next movie isn't Goblet of Fire.

HIGHLY RECOMMENDED.

Edge of Tomorrow (All You Need Is Kill)

Say what you will about Tom Cruise, I still like him as an actor. Even though they're at varying degrees I rather enjoy most of Tom Cruise's films. I really liked the last MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. Unlike most people, I thought JACK REACHER was really good. I also though OBLIVION was a terrific Sci-Fi movie that was just marketed wrong. But what I really liked about EDGE OF TOMORROW is is has Tom Cruise doing something he hasn't really had to do in a while: act. 

Typically Tom Cruise just comes out of the gates as a bad ass in his movies. He knows how to fight, fly, drive, get away from pursuers, you name it. But in EOT, he starts out as a coward. He starts off as a guy who is OK with talking people into going to war but is too much of a wimp to go into battle himself. But when he gets transferred to Europe to be underneath the General of a different country, he's basically given no other choice. This is a side of Cruise we don't see really at all anymore. What's great about it is that we get to see the progress of him going form this coward to the badass Tom that we're used to seeing. And because of this arc he's much more endearing and relatable. 

Taking place in a future not exactly specified, this alien species called "Mimics" attack Europe. Through a series of brief TV broadcasts and news reports you get enough exposition to be up to speed. Aliens attack, they're ruthless, shit's bad, Emily Blunt is a badass, cool soldier suits, major attack that will either win us the war or doom everyone. Pretty basic alien invasion plot. The unique thing about EOT is the time travel bit. 

Basically all you need to know is that in the battle, Cage (played by Tom Cruise) accidentally hijacks the Mimic's ability to reset the day when they die. At first it sounds like an awesome idea. But even before watching the movie I started thinking how this was going to work. How do we kill them if they're going to reset the day and they can adjust what they do accordingly? If Cage now has that power, where's the tension and sense of urgency? Are we going to have to see the exact same thing over and over again and get tired of it all? In a lesser movie, these would have been problems. Thankfully all these are taken care of. The movie explains enough so these concerns I had going into the movie were not a problem. 

When Cage resets the day, Director Doug Limam (MR AND MRS SMITH, THE BOURNE IDENTITY) only has us experience the important parts of the day. After a while, the resets will almost jump us back to the exact moment Cage died the previous attempt. It sort of brings this video game aspect to the movie that was a lot of fun -- sort of reminiscent of SOURCE CODE. And this leads to Cage being killed A LOT! But thankfully, very early into this, the movie introduces a rule that makes it so Cage isn't immortal. Best of all, it doesn't feel like it's cheating, either. It fits in the context of how he got this "power" in the first place. The movie then becomes Cage and Rita (Emily Blunt) working together, mostly through trial and error, to figure out a way to end the war. 

Doug Liman knows how to make entertaining action. The BOURNE IDENTITY and MR. AND MRS. SMITH had a lot of really cool set pieces. Even with as bad of a movie JUMPER was, Liman still gave that movie some memorable moments in its action. EOT wants you to see what's going on. The director and DP framed every moment of action wide enough to catch everything worth seeing while getting close enough to allow the actors express their emotions. 

I was never bored watching EOT. It takes about 15 minutes or so to get to the first battle setting up characters and the situation. But once the battle starts, the movie doesn't let up until the end. For a movie that's almost 2 hours long, it hardly feels it. It doesn't waste its time with silly things like a romantic subplot. Sure, you see Cage getting closer to Rita with every death. Even Rita does show layers to her no-nonsense persona. But it doesn't go as far to let these characters forget what's really important: winning the war. 

EDGE OF TOMORROW doesn't do a whole lot new or anything groundbreaking. It has a simple story it wants to tell with a little gimmick to make itself stand out. And it does what it sets out to do almost flawlessly. My only complaints would be that almost all of the characters outside of Cage and Rita are one dimensional and forgettable, the aliens don't really have any motivations except "take over the world," and the title of the novella is way cooler (All You Need Is Kill). Other than that, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND EDGE OF TOMORROW to everyone.

Starting Anew.

It's been quite a long time since I've even really given serious thought to writing movie reviews again. Call it lack of motivation, lack of time, lack of energy, whatever. I think it's time I finally get back on this horse I once stepped off of.

So, some ground rules I'm setting for myself:
1. Either one new movie or one old movie every week.
2. New movie reviews must be posted on Sunday while old movie reviews posted on Wednesday.
3. If I miss a new review, I must do an old movie. If I miss both, then I must do both the following week.

I think that'll do for now. So, welcome to NotInWater's Movie Reviews.